Whoops... so it's been a little while. Anyway, i should never go on long journeys with only a very short book for company. I will, inevitably, end up thinking. It's happened a couple of times recently, and it hasn't been good. Most recently was last night, and i've got myself half convinced of having found the boy i will marry. It was a coach back from London, and i'd spent much of my time waiting for the gig i was returning from (The Pipettes Christmas party. They did Mariah. There was snow.) texting a boy who i think i would not be deluding myself completely in believing might perhaps like me back, at least the tiniest, slightliest bit. There at least seems a good chance of my having a friend among the New Gays next year back in Sheffield, which is a great deal more than something. Anyway, i texted him, and he texted back and this pattern continued until a band appeared on stage, and, for all i know, he was just being polite, but i wondered a little bit if there had perhaps been flirting. I will seek further consultation on this.

Also, this is what i looked like with purple hair. (And a cherry)

Sorry I haven’t written much in here for so long. I’m a bit dull, you see, and way of boring people. My move to France, though, i think is at least vaguely interesting. I am now a student of the universite du maine, au Mans, for the third year of my degree. I’m still terrified, although I’ve started having flashes were things seem like they might perhaps be alright. There’s one other girl from Sheffield here, who seems tres nice and friendly, which is good. And all the staff seem, if a bit patronising, very helpful. They clearly all are convinced my near complete silence is due to incompetence in the language, and are unwilling to consider that i am just cripplingly shy. Plus, the things they’ve been saying haven’t really required much in the way of a response. I’ve tried alternating the occasional ‘d’accord’ with my ‘oui’s, but even that doesn’t seem to have them convinced. I’ve already missed the first two days of this ‘intensif’ French language course i agreed to do, (Nobody bothered to tell me it starts the week before I was told to arrive. Hardly my fault, I feel.) but given the level of competence they seem to expect of people studying the language at university who’ve been learning it for eight years now, i think i might just manage doing just the next five days.

My chambre is really very small and sterile. Either my entire family has a huge problem visualising measurements, or the nine square metres they promised was more than slightly misreported. Still, there’s an awful lot of storage space, (Although it perhaps only seems like this because I managed to cut down on the number of books i brought – a mere fourteen, (Including my dictionary. (There were fifteen, but i finished one on the way here.)) quite an achievement, considering how stuffed my shelve have been in previous years.) and i have a fridge and shower all for my very own self. No internet as yet, but hopes are that that’s forthcoming. And oh! I have shutters! Exciting, non? Doesn’t get much more francais than that, right? I even have quite a nice view of some trees.

Le Mans is a much nicer place than i expected. The town centre’s gorgeous; quite a significant amount of it dates back as far as the romans. I have, alas, managed to just miss this nuit des chimeres (Deceptively named – it lasts a whole two months. I’m not sure about the presence of chimeras. (That perhaps pluralises differently, (Maybe with an E?) but i’m guessing most dictionaries would give me that S nowadays.)) where they light up the Plantagenet city with all sorts of fantastic things. It looks like it’s rather exciting. There are many bookshops, which is more than pleasing. The city also has a ‘hospitality charter’, symbolising the city’s openness to it’s gay and lesbian community. There’s a gay and lesbian centre down in town which, if i can pluck up the courage, i may try investigate.

On the down side, all the literature we were given on the other side of the channel basically boils down to telling us that we will NOT have fun, and we may as well give up even hoping, and get down to some hard work. There are pages about how we should go about making sure we learn lots, and a big huge project to do on some aspect of Le Mans culture. (Lor, I can hardly wait.) After that there’s a page of advice from a French student saying nobody goes out anywhere, drunkenness is frowned upon, everyone’s pretty misogynist so girls, hahaha, just get used to being leered at, and everyone goes home at the weekends, so it’s gonna get pretty lonely. (Still, at least that means better access to the two hotplates between about thirty people (Fortunately, in my case, this has turned out to be wrong; it’s a much more satisfying four between eleven. And these warnings didn’t predict that i’d have my own fridge or shower, so maybe there’s hope for the rest.) To top it off, i’m now scared witless of making too much noise as well, as that is certainly frowned upon, particularly after ten o’clock, since EVEYONE’S IN BED BY THEN, in order to be ready for their EIGHT O’CLOCK CLASSES. This is a worry.

Still, this morning i woke up completely unaided at quarter to eight, frightened awake by the most terrifying nightmare i’ve had in an extremely long time, so that’s good. I just have to hope this bedwetting horror (Not that I did, although it’s the first time i ever remember waking up screaming. (So that’s maybe a little bit of an exaggeration. It was a bit short and low for a scream. Perhaps more of a yelp.)) can be relied upon every morning. (And I don’t think this trauma is remotely unconnected to my situation, which is why I feel happy to predict many such nightmares to come.) Actually, i think I heard or read once somewhere that even though it seems like we wake from a dream, a lot of the time they end some time before awakening, it’s just that we don’t remember any of the intervening time, in which case it was perhaps the sun blaring through my window that got me up. (Not that I mind that. It’s why I always leave my curtains open.) Still, without that snarl and those rabid green eyes to scare me out of my bed, I might have gone straight back to bed, so the sun can’t take all the credit.

I bought a new book on Saturday. "The Future Dictionary of America". It's all definitions of new words from some imaginary, utopian future. Apparently the money from it goes to "groups devoted to expressing their outrage over the Bush Administration's assault on free speech, overtime, drinking water, truth, the rule of law, humility, the separation of Chruch and State, a woman's right to choose, clean air, and every other good idea this country has ever had." There are contributions from other 200 writers, (Some of whom i could have sworn weren't American, but whatever.) Naturally, many of the references elude me, as i am neither American nor as politically aware as i should be, but it's very comforting to know that there are intelligent Americans outside my friends list.

Also, i now look like ( this. )